Getting out of a high pressure persuasion group like the Watch Tower Society is not as easy as we might think. Getting disfellowshipped or disassociating ourselves can extremely stressful, particularly if we have long-time friends and close family members still active in the congregation. The prospect of them never speaking to us again can seem unbearable.

Even if that doesn't apply to you, having an exit strategy is generally a good idea. An exit strategy is really just a risk-management process, that will make the task of leaving the organisation and starting your life over again a little easier and planned.

The strategy I outline below is the strategy I think works best, others will disagree, and this strategy may not be the best in your circumstances. But it will get you out, and it has worked for many in the past.

Exit Strategy
Risk Management is the art of identifying the possible risks to the success of your project, and then developing strategies to:
(a) Minimise the chance of those risks occurring, and
(b) Minimise the affects of those risks should they actually occur.

In our case, risk management is a useful process to make sure the exit strategy will deal with risks like a pair of elders turning up on your door "for a chat".

The strategy has these main goals:
• enable you to keep contact with witness friends and family members you wish to
• help you get out, and stay out of the organisation and similar groups

So you could say that this strategy is all about you leaving on your terms, when you are ready. Its pretty easy to see what the risks are here, such as being disfellowshipped, so I wont go into them in detail here.

Nuts and Bolts
Here are what I consider to be the nuts and bolts of this strategy, the five key parts:
• Reassure yourself you are doing the right thing
• Build your support network before you leave
• Learn about high-pressure control groups (like cults)
• Wean yourself off the organisation - its meetings and literature
• Work through the emotional and mental health issues

These are not in any sequence - you need to use these nuts and bolts the whole time you are getting out. So lets look at them one by one.

Strategy nut and bolt 1: Reassure yourself - know that you are doing the right thing!
Part of being a witness is accepting and believing that only Jehovahs Witnesses have "the truth", and that leaving the organisation is turning your back on God. When we decide to leave the organisation one of the first questions we ask ourselves is "am I turning my back on God and his people?".

So how do you really know if you are doing the right thing? If you still believe in God and the Bible, then you could use the Bible to prove to yourself that many of the Society's policies are not found in the Bible. Many are horrified to learn of the Society's nonsense medical views, current and past, and their attempts to use the Bible to justify their positions. There is plenty of information on this subject on this site, and others such as www.ajwrb.org and www.freeminds.org

The point here is to reassure yourself that the Watch Tower Society is just another group of power hungry men seeking to control and dominate you, so you will carry out their wishes, just like any other cult or high pressure control group. Far from offering "the best way of living" (as that silly Kingdom Melody goes) life in the organisation, your life, is centered around selling their books and recruiting new members into their group. You give up so much, such as the freedom to choose your friends, your partner, make your own decisions on work, recreation, books, music and entertainment. And because tertiary education is still not really permitted, witness congregations tend to be made up of of people from lower socio-economic communities, with little or no prospects of improvement.

Reassuring yourself that you are doing the right thing, can be as simple as reading a gospel account of Christs life from a decent bible, such as the New English Bible and comparing that to the rigid, strict and domineering Watch Tower Society. Or just read a little of their history, there is plenty of information on it available on the internet, and be prepared to be shocked and amazed at the things they have gotten up to over the years.

Strategy nut and bolt 2: Build your support network before you leave
Build up a network of friends and family that you will be able to call on for support when things get difficult. Do this while you are still in the organisation. Good places to start are your family and any long time friends you may have neglected while you were in the organisation. Spend time with them and build up those old relationships. Building this network takes time, perhaps many months, especially if you have to start from scratch. If that is the case, then start by joining a club on anything that interests you, maybe a sports club like golf or squash. Or you could take a night class, there must be something you've always wanted to do, maybe something creative like pottery or painting, or learning a new language. Give yourself plenty of time, the more contacts you make the better.

This network is an essential part of your risk management. If you are caught out and end up disfellowshipped, or disassociated, then you will need this support network. Even if you never discuss your religious views and troubles with them, just spending time with them will help you move on, and reassure you that you are not a bad person.

There are also online communities of ex-witnesses that you can join while still "officially" in the organisation, such as www.jehovahs-witnesses.com Just be aware that these communities are often filled with angry ex-witnesses, and members of other christian groups seeking to "save" you. But among the dross, you might just strike up a long term friendship with someone.

Strategy nut and bolt 3: Learn about high pressure control groups
At some point in your exit, you will accept the fact that you were recruited into a cult, and move on. Part of your risk management is learning about these, and non-religious high pressure control groups, sometimes called "large group awareness training". There are a number of these groups actively recruiting, like Landmark Training and Dale Carnegie. Accepting that you have been recruited before, learning about how these groups work and how you can identify them, will help prevent you from being recruited again. Unfortunately, some people never learn this. What happens is that they leave one high pressure control group, eg the witnesses, and end up being recruited into another. A year or two later (or longer) they leave that group in favour of another, sometimes religious, sometimes not. This can go on for decades.

Where can you learn about these high pressure control groups? I recommend the book "Cults in our Midst: the hidden menace in our everyday lives" by Margaret Thaler Singer (ISBN 0-7879-0266-7) there is a link on my home page to this book on Amazon.com Singers credentials are first class, being a clinical psychologist, and professor at the University of California. Her book is an excellent resource for those leaving any cult or high pressure control group, including Jehovahs Witnesses. You need to be aware that many "anti-cult" groups are controled by other religious groups!

More nuts and bolts coming soon...